lately

Since the accident i have been really shaken up. I'm scared and grateful and so many other things. but after my check up i realized how close i was to dying. i have scared the crap out of me. i cry and i laugh and just do all these things because i am so grateful to be alive. that ex ray showed how close the air was to my heart and it really terrified me. i really hope i can calm down but being that close to dying really takes me to another level or happy and sadness. I'm am so grateful to have my life but I'm so sad that if i would have did i would never see my friend and my sister who i love more than anyone in the world and I'm just overwhelmed
if you understand my feelings please let me know. i need a bit of help trying to explzin these feelings